For those few still feeling mistakenly safe, we present Liquid Uranium

On the plus side, you’ll die relatively quickly:

The U.S. government wants to move the waste from the Chalk River Nuclear Facility in Ontario, Canada to the Savannah River Nuclear Site in South Carolina. Kamps says, until now, this type of uranium has only been shipped as a solid and is extremely dangerous.

“If you’re exposed to it at a short distance, with no radiation shielding, it can actually kill you in a very short period of time. Or in a fiery crash or terrorist attack, this material could be disbursed over a very broad region,” Kamps said. Interstate 26 is one potential route, where nearby residents haven’t heard a word. But residents living near the potential route aren’t the only ones left in the dark.

Oh, that’s just fantastic. “We can’t tell you where it’s going to be, because Terrorism, so you’ll just have to remain in a state of constant terror. And update your living will, because your cognitive functions will probably get seriously derailed before your organs begin failing, which, if you think about it, is probably a blessing. Have a nice day.”

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